Before My Daughter Arrives

The end is near. Possibly in sight even. I'm at the hospital and all strapped up to my first I.V. EVER and have been given the order not to consume anything other than water or ice until this birthing process is over. Which sucks. I ate before we came and I've got fluids running through me, so I suppose that's all I need. I'm not really hungry anyway but I would like to snack.

I feel a lot of things. Nervous is a big one. I've never done this before, and I have no idea how its going to go, so I'm a little anxious about that. Excited. All goes well and I'll have a tiny human I grew in my arms soon. In the zone. I'm mostly happy right now...which means good things. It's like before the wedding when I was nice and happy and not freaking out. I figure I'll freak out at some point (like when the pain actually starts) and then completely blank out like I did for the wedding. HOPEFULLY (^_^). Other than that right now it's just waiting. I think I'll take a nap sometime soon.

Things I'll miss about being pregnant: The baby hiccups. The baby fussiness when she gets hiccups. Playing little games of patty-cake while she's inside me. All the little awe-ful moments that came with this new experience, like seeing that she was real for the first time, feeling the first movement ever (which really freaked me out), and watching The Husband's face the first time he felt her move. The smiles of encouragement from other women. The being ignored by riffraff and other men.

Things I WONT miss about being pregnant: The gas. The sciatica. Being tired all of the time and having to surrender to the fact that I'm pregnant. Surrendering, period, to the smallest being ever. The completely stupid and unsolicited advice (which I'm told will actually get worse *sigh*). Not having my baby yet and wondering when everything's going to go down.

I feel an incredible sense of love. I'm in a room with my husband, grandmother, mother-in-law and aunt-in-law. I've got Chloe's godmother ready to come down when things get going and another great friend in another state waiting to hear what's going on by text. I also have a ton of people rooting for me in real life and through the social networks I frequent, so besides the love I feel for this moment in my life, I KNOW I am loved and that Chloe is loved. I feel my mom. I miss her, but I feel her with me. All this will probably change into a few other things as time goes on, but I hope to use my brain against the pain like I've done for other things in the past, and come out of it strong and happy and relieved, and a new mommy.

I'm having a baby!